Saturday, June 27, 2009

Purple Haze..

Feeling in a kinda weird mood tonite. Having all these weird thoughts floating about in my head. Something I have too often. Too many scattered emotions running wild through me. Have you ever felt as though your caught in a state of, shall we say pause with your life. I am absolutely grateful for my wonderful parents and family. And I am especially in love with my life long partner and my beautiful bright intelligent daughter and soon to be baby....I feel fulfilled in that sense. I wouldn't change it in any way. I feel blessed as I have mentioned many a times to have met a man like Allen. He is warm-hearted, gentle and just enough kooky for me!!

What kind of has me in a strange mood is.....this feeling as though at times I look around me and I just want to scream because it seems as though others around me are moving ahead, forward and I am still trying to find my groove, my way in life. What will I leave behind. What will my kids be proud of me for. Did I do enough in life to warrant a pass. Don't get me wrong I enjoy going on Facebook and reading what my friends are up too now but a small part of me wonders if I have really made a difference, if I am living enough or just letting to many opportunities slip away, slip through my fingers....Ever have those days..where you question some of the decisions you've made in the past? And wonder why it has led you to this moment in time??

I told you I was feeling kinda wacky...Anyways....not sure if it's the hormones or just me being silly. I think we all have those days where we questions everything and everything we've done with all lives...Or perhaps it's just because I've been stuck in the house babysitting kids and not really going out that much...All I know is that, I am extremely happy to be pregnant again! What a great joy it brings...And I am happy because I found this new baby's song...I used to sing Hope a song every day while I was pregnant..wasn't quite sure what to pick this time until it just dropped in my lap....So now I'm set for that...I'm still having to buy the yarn to make a baby blanket but I have finally chosen a pattern so everything good with that front! I'll show my progress from time to time....

For now...before I bore you with my wackiness.....
Enjoy your Sunday....
Talk soon...

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