Invisible but real...

Good afternoon all....

As one door opens another may be permanently closed. Throughout all this process I was always so focused on finding my birth-mother and to finding out if I did indeed have siblings....that I honestly never gave to much thought process on my birth father...Not even quite sure why..Perhaps because it was she that carried me for 9 months. I am not sure I will ever find him or know anything much about him. I can't say I have ever thought of what he may be like/look like. Will I be okay with never knowing...can I get through another chapter of my life with more unanswered questions. I don't know! Should I be happy with what I know and not be selfish! Is it my right to know...As I mentioned before adoption is challenging. I feel like I don't want to "rock the boat." I know that I have a sister but to be honest with you I am scared to death to call her. And I'm not quite sure why. I still feel like their is a chance for rejection. I want to yell from the roof tops that I finally found the women I longed for, for years....yet it is still so new and fresh...Even after you find yr b-parents their is still so much of the unknown. What if I say or do something that upsets them? What if I didn't turn out the way she expected I would. As you can see I'm still all over the place. I have met some of her family whom all seem very friendly and willing to fill in some blanks. They seem to be very accepting of me, which makes everything comforting. Although our lives have been lived apart, when talking with her I have found that many similarities do exist! I do hope to continue to grow from this experience.
When we do meet, perhaps it will be time to give ourselves, permission to feel and experience each others emotions.

Please feel free to comment/post a message....it's funny how when we share emotions with others, we learn more about others and ourselves...

Have a good day!